Wednesday, March 4, 2009

WANTED: LOVING HOME FOR LIVING LAWN MOWERS

In answer to Jan's question, "What do you do with all your babies?" The answer is, "I dunno." This is becoming a very puzzling problem for my husband and me. We started raising goats in the first place so we could keep our agricultural use real estate tax designation. We bought this house about three and a half years ago, and the previous owner raised alpacas. We could not afford alpacas, so for a year or so, we didn't have any livestock because we're not farmers. Or weren't farmers, I should say. But one day we received a notice from the county auditor telling us that our real estate taxes would be rising by $600.00 dollars per year, and they were going to reassess for the prior three years because they had sent someone around to see if the property was being used in accordance with the agricultural use guidelines. Which it wasn't. So, in order to save $600.00 dollars a year, my husband and I are now spending about $200.00 per month to feed our growing herd of goats. I'm glad I'm not a math teacher because I would be very disappointed if there was something strange about our tax savings.

Most people who know anything about raising livestock also know a little about the birds and the bees. I'm thinking Richard and I are kind of dumb on that subject because we just keep getting more little goats. I guess there is something in the goat manuals about keeping your buck penned separately. I think I also read somewhere that female goats will allow mating through fences too, if they can figure out how to do it. Well, after having so many babies born that our barn was bursting at the seams, we figured out a way to stop having so many babies: We got rid of the buck - except - before he left, he decided to leave behind a couple of departure gifts - and- we kept his son, Birthday Boy - and - I think BB has now reached puberty because I saw something - blush - yesterday that I think . . . So we're not really any smarter now than we were a year and a half ago.

We have sold some goats. Out of necessity, of course. Because of the barn. But doggone it, how do I know these buyers are feeding and watering the babies enough and giving them enough head rubs. And calling them by the names they were given? And I know Gary Bradley went into the soup pot after we sold him. That's the only thing a neutered male is good for. Except for Buddy, out little pygmy-Boer mix, who is the friendliest little guy on the planet and who won't be going anywhere ever because what can you do with a neutered male except - rub him and scratch behind his ears and wiggle the little wattles that hang down on his neck and feed him circus peanuts and apples and, well, I guess you get the picture. Even though I ain't Zsa Zsa Gabor, our little tax-saving enterprise probably should go by the name of Green Acres!

Pregnancy update: The mama is still growing! I don't know what she's holding out for now. Richard's birthday is past, mine isn't for months, and Christmas is a long way off.

Fritz and Freda received mail from Wales today. I was in a swap for a personalized matchbox on Swap-bot, and I received mine in today's mail. My matchbox was too cute with a little dachshund deco and my initials and lots of goodies inside, but all wrapped up in polka-dotted paper, complete with a card addressed to them taped to the outside was a yummy package of soft doggie treats. When I told them they had mail and showed them the package, they immediately demanded I open it up and divvy round the treats. I'm making them write thank you's right away!

1 comment:

  1. Your life is like a book and what a beautiful picture you painted with your words!!! Thank you thank you!

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